I have been practicing for some time now. On days like this, it feels like forever. Almost so, that I am expecting to be drama free. To be simply floating across the ocean of life.
So my special soul and I, are both playing house here, in the south of Spain. For two 'foot loose and fancy free' humans, this sure is a completely new stage in life. Our parents wanted us to settle down in some arena, that could be mutually relatable.
And that turned out to be in a little home in Spain ; but still in the farm side ... hoping that it would still keep the heart and spirit humble and eager to learn. I am surprised at the toll of responsibility taking its climb. My me , if once is not careful ... we can slip into some dinky danky Soap Opera. and we don';t want that.
At times I find myself double guessing our move to Europe. Guatemala my last destination, was easier on the finance side , which made all moves care free. Here there are bills. Which means work. Which means effort and expectations. A little challenging to always stay in the moment and observe life. As we are both on the same thinking wave, there is peace in the home, smiles, and mostly good days.
But the great mighty universe needs to create a little excitement so.. there is something else bubbling. I am at a stage in my life where I think a child would be a great experience for me. My partner thinks the same. So we have two YES... A comfy house.. Putting energies to make the yoga space to balance out the expense equation , doing my daily practice and so the next step would be the baby...But there is no baby coming. You have to laugh No?
This baby chapter.. Has become one of the biggest challenges I have faced in a long long time. To that I am totally grateful. But why can I not work out through this one? I fee a lot of confusion in my head. A lot of questions.. and that nasty creepy thing called doubt. But can my head always stay clear? stay focused? In balance? be a a good example to the world? Could I still teach yoga ??? If I am having these doubts. Adding yet anothe doubt to the cluster..
It seems I have a little hormonal imbalance. But the master gland pitutary is responsible for creating hormones. And with a daily meditative practise, it should be in order? No? So what is going on. My two alternatives at this point is one to to keep practicing, and let life write out the story. The other is to pop some pills. Hormonal pills. That could write out my life in another way.
It truly does not matter which way life unfolds. But what matter is how I surf through this Ocean of waves. May the universe guide me ever still. So that my head stays focused, clarity remains, the mind at peace and that I may continue to observe that which is already etched out in the skies... SO AS TO BRING THE BEST OUT IN ME.
Namaste
So my special soul and I, are both playing house here, in the south of Spain. For two 'foot loose and fancy free' humans, this sure is a completely new stage in life. Our parents wanted us to settle down in some arena, that could be mutually relatable.
And that turned out to be in a little home in Spain ; but still in the farm side ... hoping that it would still keep the heart and spirit humble and eager to learn. I am surprised at the toll of responsibility taking its climb. My me , if once is not careful ... we can slip into some dinky danky Soap Opera. and we don';t want that.
At times I find myself double guessing our move to Europe. Guatemala my last destination, was easier on the finance side , which made all moves care free. Here there are bills. Which means work. Which means effort and expectations. A little challenging to always stay in the moment and observe life. As we are both on the same thinking wave, there is peace in the home, smiles, and mostly good days.
But the great mighty universe needs to create a little excitement so.. there is something else bubbling. I am at a stage in my life where I think a child would be a great experience for me. My partner thinks the same. So we have two YES... A comfy house.. Putting energies to make the yoga space to balance out the expense equation , doing my daily practice and so the next step would be the baby...But there is no baby coming. You have to laugh No?
This baby chapter.. Has become one of the biggest challenges I have faced in a long long time. To that I am totally grateful. But why can I not work out through this one? I fee a lot of confusion in my head. A lot of questions.. and that nasty creepy thing called doubt. But can my head always stay clear? stay focused? In balance? be a a good example to the world? Could I still teach yoga ??? If I am having these doubts. Adding yet anothe doubt to the cluster..
It seems I have a little hormonal imbalance. But the master gland pitutary is responsible for creating hormones. And with a daily meditative practise, it should be in order? No? So what is going on. My two alternatives at this point is one to to keep practicing, and let life write out the story. The other is to pop some pills. Hormonal pills. That could write out my life in another way.
It truly does not matter which way life unfolds. But what matter is how I surf through this Ocean of waves. May the universe guide me ever still. So that my head stays focused, clarity remains, the mind at peace and that I may continue to observe that which is already etched out in the skies... SO AS TO BRING THE BEST OUT IN ME.
Namaste
