Today.. I enter Phase II of my spiritual journey.
Tuesday
Friday
What is this really about - August 17, 2012
I have never received so many questions on a post; I myself was overwhelmed.
Contemplating on all the questions received from outside and from within...
I am faced with the question so what does all this really mean.
I have my stories , he has his and she has hers. This is what,some call life. The stories themselves render experiences, to grow the soul.
What is my role in all this.
Looking at my life now, I have the house story. We bought a house on a farm in Spain. Not certain if that is what we wanted, yet we find ourselves going along with it.
We are working and cleaning and getting the place and house ready to put a yoga retreat, not certain if that is what we want, yet we find ourselves flowing along with it.
We want a baby, not wanting one before, as we find it to be the next evolutionary step.
Life is flowing with stories rendering the experiences...
SO WHAT IS MY ROLE ? WHAT AM I TO DO.
Simply witness all that unfolds in your life.
In the witnessing, is the evolution of the human being.
All that has to drop will drop
All that has to unfold will unfold
All that one has to experience will be experienced.
What changes?
Everything .. INCLUDING YOUR PERSPECTIVE OF LIFE.
so my message to myself
Keep practising.
THis was always the solution given to me when faced with problems by my teachers..
Today I find myself absorbed in this teaching.
Keep practicing
Namaste.
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD
Contemplating on all the questions received from outside and from within...
I am faced with the question so what does all this really mean.
I have my stories , he has his and she has hers. This is what,some call life. The stories themselves render experiences, to grow the soul.
What is my role in all this.
Looking at my life now, I have the house story. We bought a house on a farm in Spain. Not certain if that is what we wanted, yet we find ourselves going along with it.
We are working and cleaning and getting the place and house ready to put a yoga retreat, not certain if that is what we want, yet we find ourselves flowing along with it.
We want a baby, not wanting one before, as we find it to be the next evolutionary step.
Life is flowing with stories rendering the experiences...
SO WHAT IS MY ROLE ? WHAT AM I TO DO.
Simply witness all that unfolds in your life.
In the witnessing, is the evolution of the human being.
All that has to drop will drop
All that has to unfold will unfold
All that one has to experience will be experienced.
What changes?
Everything .. INCLUDING YOUR PERSPECTIVE OF LIFE.
so my message to myself
Keep practising.
THis was always the solution given to me when faced with problems by my teachers..
Today I find myself absorbed in this teaching.
Keep practicing
Namaste.
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD
Wednesday
A Revelation August 2012
Why this new desire? Desire for babies...
This is the question that stares in front of me?
As I do my daily meditation, often I get glimpses or messages or visions of events , or realizations (my truths).
And so I keep watch for the story behind the desire for baby to show itself one day.
Nearly 3 years ago, The "me" that was in existence, wanted a lover an ideal mate and partner, a companion, to go around celebrating life with.
A close witness of my evolution as a human being..
I recall in all my communion with God or spirit or universe
that is all I would ask , crave and want.
All my prayers, my practice all were some how centered around that subject.
There was no other desires.
Then it all unfolded surprisingly even to me; my parents ; my friends.
I met him, we fell in love , got married.. moved to Spain , bought a house on a farm in the mountains.
A lovely romantic tale that linked all these events. It happened super fast. I had a deep knowing that it was all the grace of the higher spirits.
When that settled, and new days started to dawn....... then crept in the baby desire.
I cannot imagine ever desiring children , in my recent past.
Somehow in the here and now, there is the Wanting.
So alive and so real etched in my nervous system.
I see the whole world through this desire.
Question is Why? and so I keep searching for the answer through my practice.
What my ego really craves for is a affirmation of my practice. A kinda yep you are on the right track and keep going. For that to happen I have three scenarios , that my mind has created.
Something in me wants one of these events to unfold.
ONE: I feel that becoming a mother would be like moving totally into a new dimension.
I would evolve from being a child of my parents.. to becoming a parent to a child.
I want to understand my parents through the lens of being a parent myself, with that a whole new world would open up infront of me.
TWO: I become self realized. Cannot explain more on that. It is a deep curiosity that has seeped inside me from eons ago. I want to be in the same state that I have seen my masters and teachers in. I want to see the world from that lens.
THREE: my existence should just end. ( Well perhaps this one, is not clear but there is a contemplation behind it). It would be similar to entering another dimension.
and so.. everyday I find myself waiting for one of the three to reveal itself.
I know very well that I am limited by these three ideas.
TODAY I DISCOVERED ANOTHER SCENARIO
and so I open up my mind just a little more.
FOURTH: I transcend my craving for babies . The desire simply vanish as it crept in.
YOGA is truly an amazing practice!
Even if it just a momentary daily acknowledgement of the divine.
With daily practice you can keep the dramas at bay
and simply enjoy that which is unfolding.
Will keep posting on what actually Happens!
Namaste.
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD
This is the question that stares in front of me?
As I do my daily meditation, often I get glimpses or messages or visions of events , or realizations (my truths).
And so I keep watch for the story behind the desire for baby to show itself one day.
Nearly 3 years ago, The "me" that was in existence, wanted a lover an ideal mate and partner, a companion, to go around celebrating life with.
A close witness of my evolution as a human being..
I recall in all my communion with God or spirit or universe
that is all I would ask , crave and want.
All my prayers, my practice all were some how centered around that subject.
There was no other desires.
Then it all unfolded surprisingly even to me; my parents ; my friends.
I met him, we fell in love , got married.. moved to Spain , bought a house on a farm in the mountains.
A lovely romantic tale that linked all these events. It happened super fast. I had a deep knowing that it was all the grace of the higher spirits.
When that settled, and new days started to dawn....... then crept in the baby desire.
I cannot imagine ever desiring children , in my recent past.
Somehow in the here and now, there is the Wanting.
So alive and so real etched in my nervous system.
I see the whole world through this desire.
Question is Why? and so I keep searching for the answer through my practice.
What my ego really craves for is a affirmation of my practice. A kinda yep you are on the right track and keep going. For that to happen I have three scenarios , that my mind has created.
Something in me wants one of these events to unfold.
ONE: I feel that becoming a mother would be like moving totally into a new dimension.
I would evolve from being a child of my parents.. to becoming a parent to a child.
I want to understand my parents through the lens of being a parent myself, with that a whole new world would open up infront of me.
TWO: I become self realized. Cannot explain more on that. It is a deep curiosity that has seeped inside me from eons ago. I want to be in the same state that I have seen my masters and teachers in. I want to see the world from that lens.
THREE: my existence should just end. ( Well perhaps this one, is not clear but there is a contemplation behind it). It would be similar to entering another dimension.
and so.. everyday I find myself waiting for one of the three to reveal itself.
I know very well that I am limited by these three ideas.
TODAY I DISCOVERED ANOTHER SCENARIO
and so I open up my mind just a little more.
FOURTH: I transcend my craving for babies . The desire simply vanish as it crept in.
YOGA is truly an amazing practice!
Even if it just a momentary daily acknowledgement of the divine.
With daily practice you can keep the dramas at bay
and simply enjoy that which is unfolding.
Will keep posting on what actually Happens!
Namaste.
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD
Sunday
The watching , the witnessing.... July 2012
I do my daily practice of meditation, at times followed by asanas.
I take my regular dose of pills (for the hormone and baby story) and follow the regiment instructed by the doctor.
I don't think I have ever payed such close attention to the rhythms in my body.
I recall many times instructing to do so, during a class but I truly never did, to this degree.
I can still feel layers of tension being peeled away. Body settling into a new balance and each time fostering a thought that ahhh.. perhaps this is the balancing the body needed. Having myself balanced .. I can now go on to experiencing motherhood ...
Wow this chains of thoughts link themselves so fast, that if I am not vigilant I end up with a totally different vibratory body... riddled with agitation and anxiousness as one thought leads into the next creating an all out Television drama.
The practice is to always face the truth and restore balance. As you not deny your agitations but examine it at the source and free yourself from the attachment to the false ideas.
My false ideas, I am limited my my age
My false ideas, I can never become a mother and so why am I playing house
My false ideas, If I cant have a baby may be ... and it goes on.
All this are not the truth. Truth is this moment.
Do you know , in one of my dramatic bouts , I even consulted an astrologer?
Who told me I had no chance, given my birth day at time.
I cried for a span of 5 to 6 minutes profusely.
Then I let it go, with the help of some listening ears and some faint distant hope that may be my birth date was an error.
One week later I find out .. it was in error.
Life is always full of surprises.
As I record my temperature every morning .. I wonder who really controls it? Is it all written out already?
Does my popping pill have any relevance in the story that writes itself out?
Last week there was no sign of new cycle when the pills popping took a break... The temp stayed up.
Oh my God could I be...
I must have tested myself twice both being negative.
I watched the drama flood into my head. Cried a little. Indulged in sorrowful stories a little.
and then I hear the voice of vedanta.... I find space... distance from the experience.
Wow.. I nearly slipped there.
So tears all wiped off...
Sound vibes back in resonance
smiles on the face.
Last night I had a dream the cycle has started
This morning it did.
So the waiting game continues.
Remember this is just my story. You have yours and She has hers, He his.
There are merely the tales of thoughts that are woven.
When one thought takes life .. unfolding into may be this and may be that.
The truth is each second, we are born to infinite possiblities.
Live this truth.
Namaste.
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD
I take my regular dose of pills (for the hormone and baby story) and follow the regiment instructed by the doctor.
I don't think I have ever payed such close attention to the rhythms in my body.
I recall many times instructing to do so, during a class but I truly never did, to this degree.
I can still feel layers of tension being peeled away. Body settling into a new balance and each time fostering a thought that ahhh.. perhaps this is the balancing the body needed. Having myself balanced .. I can now go on to experiencing motherhood ...
Wow this chains of thoughts link themselves so fast, that if I am not vigilant I end up with a totally different vibratory body... riddled with agitation and anxiousness as one thought leads into the next creating an all out Television drama.
The practice is to always face the truth and restore balance. As you not deny your agitations but examine it at the source and free yourself from the attachment to the false ideas.
My false ideas, I am limited my my age
My false ideas, I can never become a mother and so why am I playing house
My false ideas, If I cant have a baby may be ... and it goes on.
All this are not the truth. Truth is this moment.
Do you know , in one of my dramatic bouts , I even consulted an astrologer?
Who told me I had no chance, given my birth day at time.
I cried for a span of 5 to 6 minutes profusely.
Then I let it go, with the help of some listening ears and some faint distant hope that may be my birth date was an error.
One week later I find out .. it was in error.
Life is always full of surprises.
As I record my temperature every morning .. I wonder who really controls it? Is it all written out already?
Does my popping pill have any relevance in the story that writes itself out?
Last week there was no sign of new cycle when the pills popping took a break... The temp stayed up.
Oh my God could I be...
I must have tested myself twice both being negative.
I watched the drama flood into my head. Cried a little. Indulged in sorrowful stories a little.
and then I hear the voice of vedanta.... I find space... distance from the experience.
Wow.. I nearly slipped there.
So tears all wiped off...
Sound vibes back in resonance
smiles on the face.
Last night I had a dream the cycle has started
This morning it did.
So the waiting game continues.
Remember this is just my story. You have yours and She has hers, He his.
There are merely the tales of thoughts that are woven.
When one thought takes life .. unfolding into may be this and may be that.
The truth is each second, we are born to infinite possiblities.
Live this truth.
Namaste.
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD
Thursday
Tossing of the mind, the doubts seeping in- June 2012
I have been practicing for some time now. On days like this, it feels like forever. Almost so, that I am expecting to be drama free. To be simply floating across the ocean of life.
So my special soul and I, are both playing house here, in the south of Spain. For two 'foot loose and fancy free' humans, this sure is a completely new stage in life. Our parents wanted us to settle down in some arena, that could be mutually relatable.
And that turned out to be in a little home in Spain ; but still in the farm side ... hoping that it would still keep the heart and spirit humble and eager to learn. I am surprised at the toll of responsibility taking its climb. My me , if once is not careful ... we can slip into some dinky danky Soap Opera. and we don';t want that.
At times I find myself double guessing our move to Europe. Guatemala my last destination, was easier on the finance side , which made all moves care free. Here there are bills. Which means work. Which means effort and expectations. A little challenging to always stay in the moment and observe life. As we are both on the same thinking wave, there is peace in the home, smiles, and mostly good days.
But the great mighty universe needs to create a little excitement so.. there is something else bubbling. I am at a stage in my life where I think a child would be a great experience for me. My partner thinks the same. So we have two YES... A comfy house.. Putting energies to make the yoga space to balance out the expense equation , doing my daily practice and so the next step would be the baby...But there is no baby coming. You have to laugh No?
This baby chapter.. Has become one of the biggest challenges I have faced in a long long time. To that I am totally grateful. But why can I not work out through this one? I fee a lot of confusion in my head. A lot of questions.. and that nasty creepy thing called doubt. But can my head always stay clear? stay focused? In balance? be a a good example to the world? Could I still teach yoga ??? If I am having these doubts. Adding yet anothe doubt to the cluster..
It seems I have a little hormonal imbalance. But the master gland pitutary is responsible for creating hormones. And with a daily meditative practise, it should be in order? No? So what is going on. My two alternatives at this point is one to to keep practicing, and let life write out the story. The other is to pop some pills. Hormonal pills. That could write out my life in another way.
It truly does not matter which way life unfolds. But what matter is how I surf through this Ocean of waves. May the universe guide me ever still. So that my head stays focused, clarity remains, the mind at peace and that I may continue to observe that which is already etched out in the skies... SO AS TO BRING THE BEST OUT IN ME.
Namaste
So my special soul and I, are both playing house here, in the south of Spain. For two 'foot loose and fancy free' humans, this sure is a completely new stage in life. Our parents wanted us to settle down in some arena, that could be mutually relatable.
And that turned out to be in a little home in Spain ; but still in the farm side ... hoping that it would still keep the heart and spirit humble and eager to learn. I am surprised at the toll of responsibility taking its climb. My me , if once is not careful ... we can slip into some dinky danky Soap Opera. and we don';t want that.
At times I find myself double guessing our move to Europe. Guatemala my last destination, was easier on the finance side , which made all moves care free. Here there are bills. Which means work. Which means effort and expectations. A little challenging to always stay in the moment and observe life. As we are both on the same thinking wave, there is peace in the home, smiles, and mostly good days.
But the great mighty universe needs to create a little excitement so.. there is something else bubbling. I am at a stage in my life where I think a child would be a great experience for me. My partner thinks the same. So we have two YES... A comfy house.. Putting energies to make the yoga space to balance out the expense equation , doing my daily practice and so the next step would be the baby...But there is no baby coming. You have to laugh No?
This baby chapter.. Has become one of the biggest challenges I have faced in a long long time. To that I am totally grateful. But why can I not work out through this one? I fee a lot of confusion in my head. A lot of questions.. and that nasty creepy thing called doubt. But can my head always stay clear? stay focused? In balance? be a a good example to the world? Could I still teach yoga ??? If I am having these doubts. Adding yet anothe doubt to the cluster..
It seems I have a little hormonal imbalance. But the master gland pitutary is responsible for creating hormones. And with a daily meditative practise, it should be in order? No? So what is going on. My two alternatives at this point is one to to keep practicing, and let life write out the story. The other is to pop some pills. Hormonal pills. That could write out my life in another way.
It truly does not matter which way life unfolds. But what matter is how I surf through this Ocean of waves. May the universe guide me ever still. So that my head stays focused, clarity remains, the mind at peace and that I may continue to observe that which is already etched out in the skies... SO AS TO BRING THE BEST OUT IN ME.
Namaste
Saturday
A new chapter unfolds - May 2012
It is May 3rd, in the year 2012.
I have been anticipating this year immensely.
The great ascension in 2012; I truly and totally believe, that as humans we are in a continuous process of evolving . But this year is extra special as it is gifted with a planetary alignment that energetically aides us in this process. But for the whole benefit to ripen; one has to be aware. Remember this is just my idea.
I am in the South of Spain, in a little town called Lanjaron. The universe has been immensely kind to me, providing me with yet another adventure. Married life but still living modestly in the farm country. Putting the energies out there to start a yoga space with meditation, chanting, healing, spiritual circle and all that good stuff. Also putting energies for a new life to come , that would help me learn and grow even more. But always remembering , that the universe will gently guide me, no matter how my life unfolds.
Playing house ( the responsibilities and patience that it requires, to keep it humming in a fine tune) requires a lot of discipline from me. Which means daily practice.
Each morning when I visit my mat and relax into meditation, I can feel my body aligning, balancing and healing it self. Space is reborn. From there, emerges clarity, calmness and gratitude. Life is truly magical and flows when you simply allow it to.
Namaste
The great ascension in 2012; I truly and totally believe, that as humans we are in a continuous process of evolving . But this year is extra special as it is gifted with a planetary alignment that energetically aides us in this process. But for the whole benefit to ripen; one has to be aware. Remember this is just my idea.
I am in the South of Spain, in a little town called Lanjaron. The universe has been immensely kind to me, providing me with yet another adventure. Married life but still living modestly in the farm country. Putting the energies out there to start a yoga space with meditation, chanting, healing, spiritual circle and all that good stuff. Also putting energies for a new life to come , that would help me learn and grow even more. But always remembering , that the universe will gently guide me, no matter how my life unfolds.
Playing house ( the responsibilities and patience that it requires, to keep it humming in a fine tune) requires a lot of discipline from me. Which means daily practice.
Each morning when I visit my mat and relax into meditation, I can feel my body aligning, balancing and healing it self. Space is reborn. From there, emerges clarity, calmness and gratitude. Life is truly magical and flows when you simply allow it to.
Namaste
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